


What happens in Velen

by brothebro



Series: Witcher!Jaskier fics [4]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Bickering, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, School Of The Viper, Secret Identity, Some Humor, Some angst, Velen - Freeform, Witcher Jaskier | Dandelion, geraskier if you squint????, monster hunting, no beta we die like Geralt's sanity, or more accurately Jaskier's secret job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24236008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brothebro/pseuds/brothebro
Summary: The prompt:Witcher!Jaskier and Geralt accidentally go on the same contract and fight about who should kill the monster and get the money and the monster is like “guys why don’t you just kill me together and split” and they like oh yeah and then the monster realized that it fucked up
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Witcher!Jaskier fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735504
Comments: 26
Kudos: 391





	What happens in Velen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheJaskiestOfThemAll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheJaskiestOfThemAll/gifts).



Geralt is traversing the swampy muddy shit-hole that is Velen, searching for a monster that’s been plaguing a nearby village. It’s probably a Foglet based on the vague descriptions the villagers begrudgingly provided; sightings of a child --probably the Foglet’s illusion-- luring their children away, making them disappear. 

He’s agreed to meet Jaskier in a week’s time in Oxenfurt and he has some time to kill. Why not make some coin in the process? 

He parted with the poet a good two months ago, Jaskier insisting that it was absolutely urgent to dedicate some time for his ‘side-hustle’. Now, that was nothing new. In the years Geralt and Jaskier have spent travelling the Continent together the bard would take some time off from his poetic duties at least once a year to do… whatever this side-hustle entailed. 

Geralt could say with certainty it is some sort of professional espionage, given that the bard knows suspiciously too many details of the lives of the various nobles and monarchs of the northern kingdoms. 

So here he is, in a swamp in Velen, close to Oxenfurt, killing time Witchering as Jaskier would have put it very eloquently until the bard is done spying on some minor nobility. 

He’s following the trail of small footprints and clumsily stepped-on branches that eventually leads him to an abandoned tower, an old watchtower of some sorts. That’s odd. He expected to find a cave. Foglets usually prefer caves and underground grottoes. Could this be an ancient Foglet? 

If that’s the case he should rethink his strategy. Old Foglets were so much more tricky to deal with after all. Maybe he ought to scour the area for more clues to what he’s dealing with before he makes his move. 

Keeping his distance from the abandoned tower he starts on checking the perimeter of the area when he hears the distinct sound of a twig snapping in two and the almost silent cursing under one’s breath. He holds his sword steady in his hands and then he sees him.

Jaskier. 

What the fuck is he doing in the middle of Velen? Jaskier hates Velen with passion and he will never let an opportunity pass to remind Geralt of the fact when they find themselves close enough. 

Geralt stares at the man in front of him in disbelief, taking in his… colourful to say the least cloak; bright rose with teal accents. His wolf medallion lays silent around his neck and that means the bright target of a man before him is not a Foglet’s illusion. 

_ Seriously _ . It’s like he’s asking to be attacked. 

“Jaskier,” he hisses, surprising the bard who draws a pair of short-swords from somewhere beneath that ridiculous cloak. “What are you doing here you fool?”

“Geralt, fancy meeting you here,” the bard greets, easing the hold of his weapons. “I’m on a contract for an elder Foglet. You?”

“Excuse me. What?” What is the fool blabbering about? A contract. For a Foglet? And an Elder one at that? “Leave before you get hurt. That’s my contract.”

“I am not going anywhere. That is  _ my  _ contract, which I am sure I took way before  _ you  _ did, therefore it is mine and I will be the one to fulfil it, thankyouverymuch.” Jaskier huffs. “Now move along, will you? Things are about to get dangerous.”

“ _ Jaskier. _ ”

“ _ Geralt. _ ”

“What do you mean it’s  _ your  _ contract? Who on earth commissioned you?” Geralt inquires in an almost growl, exasperated from the bard’s antics. 

“Who commissioned me is hardly important Geralt. What’s important is I took a contract and I plan to fulfil it. Professional courtesy and so on,” Jaskier says, setting aside his fancy cloak revealing a form-fitting teal-dyed leather armour. At least he isn’t planning on fighting the creature wearing his silks. Geralt sighs. “And I could ask the same question of you Geralt. So humour me, who gave you the contract for the monster?”

Wait a moment. Could this be Jaskier’s side-hustle? Freelance monster-hunting? 

“The alderman of Caeli,” Geralt responds halfheartedly, his mind trying to comprehend why the bard would dabble --no-- outright steal the work of a Witcher. 

“See, that’s why you should let me deal with the Foglet. The alderman will pay you what? 300 Orens? I am getting a thousand for it. So please, for the love of Melitele, go wait for me back in Caeli Geralt.” 

“Jaskier!” Geralt growls, “I will deal with the Foglet. That’s not negotiable!”

“What, you don’t think I’m competent enough, or do you need the prize money so much? Which is it, Geralt?” Jaskier snarls and it’s the first time Geralt’s seen him so genuinely enraged. 

Geralt rubs soothing circles on his temples. Jaskier will surely be the death of him someday. “It’s a Foglet.”

“Yes, and? I do not understand where the problem lies.”

“You could die, Jaskier,” Geralt sighs.

“So could y-” Jaskier stops in the middle of the sentence, distraught by something. 

The medallion around Geralt’s neck vibrates, indicating that the monster is nearby. He steadies his grip on the silver sword and strains his ears for any movement, as the Foglet could very well be invisible and behind them now. 

“My medallion’s humming,” Jaskier whispers, “be careful.” 

_ Medallion? What medallion? _

“Can’t you two share the prize money?” A child-like voice echoes from within the tower. 

_ Fuck.  _ To be able to articulate thoughts and not just echo things it heard this Foglet must be ancient indeed. It has a point though. They could share the money, given of course that Jaskier knows indeed how to fight and would not prove himself liability at the first mishap. 

The word ‘medallion’ comes back to his mind. It couldn’t be… Could it?

“Won’t you look at that, Geralt! The monster has more brains than the two of us collectively! We can take it down together!” Jaskier grins, revealing sharp canines. Geralt nods in agreement and hums.

“Wait wait wait wait! Sir witchers, sirs! You think I am the monster?” The child-like voice says panicked, the thick stench of fear and anxiety permeating Geralt’s sensitive nose. 

_ That is… odd. _ Never before had Geralt met a Foglet that could mimic emotions. 

“Please don’t kill me sir Witchers! I only wanted to help my friends!” the voice says and the decrepit door of the tower opens. Two impossibly large eyes stare at them. “They are all safe and sound, I swear on me life!”

“Uh… Geralt I don’t think we’re dealing with a Foglet,” Jaskier says, his voice low enough so only a Witcher could hear the words clearly. 

“I can see that.” He says and sheaths the silver sword. Then he turns to the creature. He could be wrong but it seems like they are dealing with a Godling. A childlike creature that protects settlements. “Do you have the children? Janko and Miloslav.”

Jaskier mouths a silent ‘what children’ but Geralt ignores him.

“Me friends?” the creature seems surprised, “What do you want with me friends, mister? Don’t hurt me friends!”

“Their families are worried about them,” he says as calmly as he can. “We are just here to take them back to their village.”

“No!” the creature shouts and emerges fully from behind the door. Childlike stature, blue skin and impossibly large eyes. That’s a Godling alright.“They were hurting them! Janko and Miloslav left on their own! We are happy here!” 

Two boys in their early teens peek behind the half-opened door. 

“Mirna is right,” says the oldest of the two, “Our folks don’t want us anyways. We are fine here. We don’t want to go back.”

“We really don’t,” says the second one who sports ugly healed burn marks on the entire left of his face. His eyes are wide and so so scared. No doubt, a parental figure did that to him.

They should be safe with the Godling --Mirna-- he reckons. Safer than with their families, surely. Although he will go back to Caeli and check that the boys’ stories are indeed correct. (and maybe if they are, he will deal with those monster parents in some way as well)

“It seems our job here is done, Geralt. Both our contracts are null and void,” Jaskier says rocking at the balls of his feet. “Shame really, I was hoping for a good fight,” he jokes. 

Geralt hums in agreement. “Stay safe, you three,” he says and turns to leave. Jaskier falls into an easy jog and is beside him within moments. 

“Where are we going now?” Jaskier asks, pulling the flamboyant cloak around his shoulders. 

“Caeli. We gotta find out the whole story,” Geralt responds, “Your side-hustle was being a Witcher, Jaskier? Really?” he says with a half-smile.

“I thought it was pretty obvious.”

“Well, I thought you dabbled in espionage,” Geralt snorts a laugh. 

“Espionage?” Jaskier shrieks dramatically, “ _ Me? _ Never!” 

“You do that too,” Geralt says in realisation and Jaskier smirks. “What school?”

“Viper,” he says and pulls out a silver medallion depicting two intertwined snakes. 

“From now on your lazy ass is going to help in hunts.”

“Geraaaaaaalt!” Jaskier groans and Geralt cannot contain the lopsided smile forming on his lips.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hello and thank y'all for reading!  
> I hope you enjoyed it and if you did holler at me in the comments :DDDD 
> 
> I always have fun writing these two idiots :D 
> 
> Ps. if you have a prompt for Witcher!Jaskier you can always send it to me on Tumblr (@brothebro) I'll get around to it at some point.


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